Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i now understand why vodka
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
