Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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