did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
