Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
