I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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