my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
