How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
