So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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