I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
