needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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