I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
