does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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