I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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