Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
no. you can't hotbox the world.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
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