chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
