At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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