Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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