Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
