I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize