i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
