So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Your cock deserves a montage
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
