Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
