I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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