I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
