i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
