"it" just moved
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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