I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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