He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
