he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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