after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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