it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize