I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
