Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
