I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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