Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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