Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
