i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
