Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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