Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
