We're facebook friends in real life
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
