Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
