Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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