You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
