yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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