is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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