My sheets look like a crime scene.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
