hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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