So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
