sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
