omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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