the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize