I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
