Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize