Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
These tits shall not be calmed
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
