It's Friday. Sex?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
