You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
