Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
