that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
