Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
