it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize