i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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