I like to think it a success when the cops are called
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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