Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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