look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize