Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
