im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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