o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
