Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
