whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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