There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
