I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
