Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
