New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
