Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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