do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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