So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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