I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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