Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize