hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
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