I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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