god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
