she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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