I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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