you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
